Misadventures In HetaMart
by Thief of Life
Summary: The nations go shopping at Wal-Mart and things get interesting for some of them... Pairings inside.


_**Authoress Notes: Yellows~! This story came out of the blue (like almost all of my stories do). I was on the phone with my best friend, talking of all our public embarrassments when **__this__** came out. I honestly don't know how I managed to do something like this. It's the first story I do that is so long. Anyways, on with the story. Please review~ They make me giggly and they definitely make my day. ^^ **_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. Nor I probably ever will. It belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya. Nor I own Walmart, pink house paint/nail polish, Mario Kart nor any of the brands of/or merchandise here mentioned. There, done. :D**_

_**Oh yeah, Random Story Notes: Before I forget it. Here are the pairings:**_

_**Lithuania/Poland, Switzerland/Liechtenstein, France/England, America/Belarus, Prussia/Germany, Spain/S. Italy, Hungary/Austria, Sweden/Finland and Turkey/Greece.**_

_**Some of them aren't really fully 'paired' in the story, but I decided to put them like that just in case. And just so you know, human names are used.**_

_**Hehe, now, Enjoy~! {And Review, da~?} ^^**_

_**Misadventures in HetaMart**_

"Welcome to HetaMart! Become one with Russia, da~?" Ever so childishly innocent Manager Russia greeted his costumers, earning a stuttered reply in return. Well, if he did get a reply. Most of the times the greeted client would either smile nervously or hurry the hell up and leave said manager in the door. Today, it was the first result.

Lithuania, or Liet, for short, gave the massively big Russian a shy smile and was dragged by his boyfriend, Poland, who ignored the greeting, towards the cosmetic section.

"Oh my gawsh, Liet! Like, this is SO totes like, me!" Liet's boyfriend, Poland, said to him, waving a little bottle of pink nail polish in his hand.

Liet sighed, before replying.

"I already told you, you shouldn't use stuff like that, and I'm not buying it."

"But Lieeeeeettt~ Please?" Poland whined, and gave the Lithuanian a sad look.

"Fine! But only this, ok?"

"Yay! Now that we have that, can we go to the Paint section? I, like, need more pink paint."

Lithuania only sighed, before being dragged away by Poland. Again. But this time towards the paint section.

OoOoO

"Which one do you want, Lili?"

Vash, or Switzerland. was currently located in the little girls section. Or more accurate, the Barbie section. He was going to buy his beloved sister Lili, Liechtenstein, a new doll so she could, obviously, play with it, as well as doing it as a gift for her after she made him the pink pyjamas. Which are his favorites. Which means he wears them. Which is a thought that makes him blush. Which he currently was.

Lili just stood there. Her cute face blushing (which made Vash blush even harder), innocently looking at the Barbies.

"I-I don't want any of these."

"Huh? What do you want then?." Vash was confused. Didn't Lili like Barbies?

Lili blushed deeper and shyly stuttered.

"H-how about a new dress?"

"You want a new dress?"

Lili nodded gently. Vash understood and sighed. Lili wasn't a little girl anymore. She was an adolescent girl now. But she was so innocent! Switzerland would not let anyone change that. She was just too pure.

He grabbed her hand and lead her towards the girl clothes section.

"You sure you don't want that Ken?"

OoOoO

"I don't like it."

"But it smells good~"

"But I don't like it."

Arthur crossed his arms over his chest and scowled at France. Seriously, just because he and France were a couple now, didn't mean he had to even change his deodorant and perfume.

"But _mon cher_~ This cologne smells so wonderful~ It would be even better in you...~" France said, snaking his arms around Arthur's waist and resting his head in the crook of Arthur's neck. He slowly planted butterfly kisses there and Arthur immediately reacted, gasping and blushing furiously.

"No. And stop that. We're in a bloody public place! People might see us."

"Ah, but _mon Cher_, don't you want people to know we're together?" Francis asked in such a sad voice, wich was followed by a pouty, sad face, which made Arthur feel slightly guilty and blush even redder.

"... Can't you just wait till we get home to do this kind of things?"

"Does that means that you are willing to continue this after we get home~?" Francis asked seductively, head back in Arthur's neck, kissing, nibbling, sucking and biting, making sure to leave a mark, taking advantage of the fact that Arthur was deep down in the pleasure to mind it at the moment. Arthur gave a tiny, almost sighed, moan, which Francis took as an acceptance of his earlier question.

After a couple of seconds, Francis pulled away again. He pecked Arthur on the lips quickly.

"You know, _Angleterre_, I still want you to buy that cologne."

"And I still say that I won't."

"That or I'll describe to everyone how lovely you sound in bed." Arthur opened his mouth to protest, when Francis beat him to talk "I even have proof."

"YOU VIDEO-TAPED THAT!"

France nodded. "_Oui_. Now about that cologne...~"

"... Bloody hell."

OoOoO

"Hi! How may I help you?"

"I want to put these in lay-away please. Veeeeee~"

Ukraine looked at what North Italy, or Feliciano, had just placed in front of her, and got a confused look plastered on her face.

"You want to put in lay-away a bag of pasta?"

"Yes! Veeeee~"

Feliciano smiled brightly while Ukraine (still) looked confused.

"What's going on in here?" Another voice came, interrupting.

"Ahhh! Brother Russia! Aaahhhhhhhh!" was all Ukraine said before running off, crying hysterically.

"... Veeeee~?"

OoOoO

"Can we go now?"

"No."

"Pleaseeeeeeee?"

Alfred looked pleadingly at Natalia, who stared back at him, expression-less. People wondered how this two ever got together, but that was a long story. They were at the knife section, Natalia looking deep in thought at the  
knives, grabbing a few here and there and putting them on the cart that Alfred was currently carrying.

"No. Alfred, can't you understand that I have better things to do than going with you to McDonald's?"

"But they have hamburgers! I need my hamburgers!"

"You say it like you will have more than one."

"You should have known by now that! Of course I will get more than one." Alfred smiled cheerfully at the cold Belarussian, who frowned.

"Can't you wait?"

"But we've been here for more than two hours already. And you still haven't bought anything."

"I'm analyzing which one would cut deeper and faster." Her voice had an... Evil, weird, creepy, scary, however you want to call it, tone, which made the American cringe. Just a little.

"You know, we can always come later...~"

"Was that somehow supposed to be _'seductive_'?"

"... Maybe..."

"You're such a... a..." Natalia trailed off, thinking of a word to describe the annoying American. Alfred, however, took this moment as an opportunity to kiss his girlfriend deeply, catching her off-guard. Natalia's eyes widened, but after some seconds she kissed back, full force, which ended up as a make-out session. In the knives section. _So romantic..._

"Can we go get those hamburgers now?"

OoOoO

"Hey, West! What you lookin' at here?"

It was, obviously, Prussia, who had know put his arms around his bruder's shoulders, grinning.

Ludwig blushed "What do you think they are?"

They were in the Man's section, looking at briefs and boxers. Ludwig looked like he was debating whether to buy some white briefs or some Wurst- patterned boxers.

"Hmmm... Not your size? I think the wurst ones are… Interesting" Prussia whispered, no, more like, breathed on Ludwig's ear, sending chills down said man's spine.

Ludwig blushed even more and grunted what could be translated as a 'hmpft'. Prussia's smirk grew wider and his hands wandered to places that people don't really need to know descriptions of. Ludwig slapped his hand away.

"Not here. Not now."

"Awww, you're no fun." Prussia's smirk, grin, or whatever, disappeared and a scowl took it's place.

"You know, I've got an idea." With that, not only Prussia's smirk returned full force, but he shoved Ludwig against the closest wall and hovered over him. Gilbert grabbed Ludwig's chin, and smashed their lips together, making Ludwig gasp in surprise, and using that opportunity to slide his tongue in, a battle for dominance starting, since Ludwig kissed back almost immediately. After a few seconds, they broke apart, panting and faces flushed.

"You're one to talk about sizes Prussia."

"What are you implying? My 5 meters are awesome, just like the whole me."

"Yeah right. Oh! And for your information, I was looking boxers and briefs for you, Gilbert, but it looks like they don't have your size."

"Told you, they can't handle my awesome 5 meters."

"Sorry, they don't sell the x-small ones." Ludwig smirked (who knew he could act like that?).

"Want me to prove myself?"

Let's just say that it's safe to assume that Gilbert _DID_ prove himself and that the bathroom is now a mess... Who knew Germany could be this naughty?

OoOoO

"Can't you look without touching, you bastard?"

"But those tomatoes look so juicy~! I was just checking them. And besides, I have the juiciest of them all, right here." Antonio whispered the last part in Lovino's ear and wrapped his arms around the smaller man, who was blushing beet red.

"B-bastard, stop that! Not. In. Public!"

Antonio chose to ignore that and continued to cuddle against Lovi's back.

"H-hey, let me go already!" Lovino said, but made no move to disentangle himself.

This two were in the Vegetable section, looking for random food (tomatoes in general) that they needed or simply wanted.

"Look! Lettuce!"

"So? Stop acting like you've never seen some before."

"But we need some!"

"We do?"

"Yeah! Our kids have no lettuce left. They ate it all already."

"First, they're turtles, second, they're not our kids, and third, if you need it, you pay it."

Antonio pushed their cart towards it and grabbed a few bags before turning to Lovino. Said man was looking at some tomatoes, not quite sure as to which get. Antonio went over there and tried helping him.

"What's wrong? Don't you like them?" Antonio was referring to the tomatoes resting in Lovino's hand, while said person stared at the red fruit standing in front of him.

Antonio sneaked up behind Lovino and once again wrapped his arms around Lovino's waist, who pushed him away. Antonio then promptly turned Lovino around and kissed him passionately, something to be expected since, after all, he's the country of Passion. Lovino instantly kissed back just as deep, throwing the tomatoes somewhere in the ground, and tangled his hands in the spaniard's hair and pressed their bodies close. After a couple of seconds of heavy make-out, they broke apart, only to see a very embarrassed Canadian employee behind them.

"I-I'm sorry!" Canada blushed and looked away, holding a bag of new, fresh tomatoes.

"It's ok..." Antonio started quickly, but trailed off, waiting for a response from the nervous employee.

"M-Matthew. C-Canada, actually." he stuttered out.

Upon realizing what he was holding, and why he hadn't left yet, the young couple moved over, giving access to Matthew to place the fresh fruit.

Matthew quickly placed them and practically ran toward the cash registers.

Lovino moved to grab a few tomatoes, still blushing, and wondering how the hell he did that in public, (something so embarrassing!), when  
Antonio interrupted his thoughts.

"See? Doing that wasn't so bad after all. Otherwise you wouldn't have come to get those tomatoes..." He smiled brightly at his lover.

"I-I just did it out of politeness. Don't think that I like you or anything like that." Lovino told Antonio, who just kept grinning. He knew what those words meant.

OoOoO

"Oh Roderich~!"

Roderich sighed. He had heard that phrase for the last two hours. His day couldn't get worse.

He and Elizaveta had gone out to buy groceries, yet somehow (that 'somehow' was being blamed in Elizaveta by Roderich) ended up in the Lingerie section, with his wife, who had kept him busy looking at lacy bras and panties for two hours already.

"Hungary can't you jus-" Roderich had been more than shocked when Elizaveta came out of the dressing room, or more like, leaned on the dressing room's door. She had put on a corset full of ribbons, bows or whatever they are, in dark colors, and red lace all over the thing, covering it all up. She had also put on some red fishnets that went half-leg and connected with the panties up with some straps. This was not in the slightest helping his... Situation. Everything was getting _so hot_, at least so the Austrian thought. Elizaveta smirked and draped a leg over the door.

"You like it?"

Roderich's mouth was open and he was gaping like a fish out of the water bowl. Or sea. Whichever and wherever you and your fish prefers. Anyways, he could only nod. Elizaveta's smirk grew wider and she suddenly shut herself in the dressing room, leaving a hot, bothered Austrian behind. Oh, how wrong he had been. If your day can't get worse, it will.

Lesson learned: never bring out Elizaveta for shopping. Ever.

OoOoO

"Hanatamago, look! Isn't it pretty?"

Hanatamago barked at her owner, Finland, or Tino, excitedly, waving her tail almost desperately. Tino was with his 'husband' Berwald, Sweden, in the Pet's section, looking for a new dog walker for Hanatamago. Tino lifted a red one that had some sparkly stuff stuck to it up, to show it to Berwald.

"What do you think, Berwald?"

"I th'nk 's n'ce" (I think it's nice.) Berwald's stoic face didn't really express anything but Tino knew otherwise. Tino smiled cheerfully and put the thing inside their cart.

"And what about this?" Tino asked, lifting up a chew toy with the form of a mouse. And it was green. Since when did they sold green chew mice? Oh well, the world may never know.

Berwald leaned in Tino's ear and whispered. "Wh'tev'r y'u th'nk 's appropiate, m' wife." (Whatever you think it's appropiate, my wife.)

Tino blushed beet red and stuttered out. "D-don't call me that."

"B't you'r' m' wife." (But you're my wife.)

"B-but I don't like it being said in public. And I like it." He looked down at Hanatamago "Don't you, Hana?"

The dog barked again and Tino laughed.

"I think she does. Well, let's buy it."

Berwald only nodded. Tino grabbed the cart and headed toward another aisle.

"To the other sec- LOOK!"

Berwald could only sigh.

OoOoO

In the same Pet's section...~

"Do we really have to buy this? I mean, they're only cats for goodness sake."

Sadiq and Heracles were also looking for collars, only that this time it was for Heracles cats.

Heracles was looking at some light blue one that had a white stripe in the middle.

"Yes we do. What do you think could happen to Corporal Cat if he got lost and doesn't has a collar?"

"Heracles, all of your cats are named Corporal Cat."

"... I know wich one I'm talking about."

Sadiq only 'hmmmpftd' before crossing his arms over his chest and glared at Heracles, who was busy eyeing the collars.

Then suddenly, Sadiq went behind Heracles and wrapped his arms around his waist, taking Heracles by surprise.

"Why don't we hurry up and go to see the bed section?" Sadiq whispered in Heracles's ear, his breath sending shivers down the Greek's spine.

"You're such a pervert."

"But you love it." Sadie said, licking the greek's neck, hands wandering lower.

"... We have to choose the collars after we're done."

"Hehehe~- wait." he loosened his grip on Heracles, and turned him around. "Does that means you're gonna buy more than one?"

"Of course. I'm going to buy one for each one of my cats."

Sadiq's mouth was suddenly too busy to reply to that.

OoOoO

It had been an interesting day for Kiku Honda, an employee who was now the Electronic's section cashier. So far he had witnessed Alfred making out with Natalia in the knives section after going to place  
some new merchandise there, but quickly had to leave, seeing how things were progressing there, he had seen Poland forcing Liet to buy 4 gallons of pink house paint, Italy trying to put pasta in lay away, but the most embarrassing thing he had seen, was the... _Show_... Hungary had given Austria on the dressing rooms, where he was passing by to get to the Electronics section.

With a tiny, tiny smile on his face, and a quiet sigh, he went behind the cash register and seeing that nobody needed help or anything, he got his Nintendo DS out of his pocket and started playing Super Mario Kart. He just hoped Russia-San didn't catch him...

_**Authoress Notes: So, what do you think? You liked it? Hate it? Was there anything wrong? Please tell me~! Reviews make me giggly and bubbly inside, and they also make my day. So be a dear and make my day~! **_

_**You reviewing = makes Gilbo and Luddy, Naty and Alfred as well as every other character/couple to make out. ;D (Plus you win Vodka from Russia)**_


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